Xylophones and Ginger Snapes
by protejerinnocencia
Summary: Another of Albus's holiday ideas. Can anyone see Severus Snape teaching his students the finer points of the culinary art of baking? I didn't think so either.


**Xylophones and Ginger Snapes**

**  
**The staff of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry all sat waiting for the Headmaster to speak. All present were cramped into the Headmaster's office. Several teachers were forced to stand as there was not enough room for seats.

"Do you mind," Severus snapped as he felt Professor Trelawney reading the Daily Prophet over his shoulder.

"Sorry," she murmured airily.

"Good everyone is here," Albus stated as he emerged and took a seat behind his desk.

"Albus is there a reason we're meeting in here instead of the staff lounge?" Minerva questioned.

"I thought you'd never ask my dear," Albus said jovially.

"There is much less chance that any students would eavesdrop," he continued.

Everyone else in the room simply stared at him in disbelief. In all the years they'd been having staff meetings in the lounge, none had been interrupted by unwanted guests. Even Harry and his friends had never intruded

"I believe we need to get into the spirit of the holidays," the aged wizard exclaimed.

"I shudder to think what that entails," Severus muttered.

"I know that you all have to prepare the students for their NEWTs and OWLs but one day of fun won't hurt," the headmaster blabbed on.

"Wait just a moment Albus," Minerva interjected.

"You're asking us to deviate from our lesson plans just to indulge in Christmas frivolity?" the Transfiguration Professor exclaimed.

"Exactly," Albus answered with a smile and a twinkle in his eye.

"No. Absolutely not," Severus barked.

"Severus please just hear me out," Albus replied, holding up his hand.

The Headmaster rose and distributed sheets of parchment with assignments. Murmurs of approval rose up to fill the room until Severus finished reading. He nearly fell out of his chair.

"Headmaster this is preposterous. I make potions not baked goods," he seethed.

"Surely bakin' and potion makin' aren't that different," Hagrid piped up.

"What do you know," Severus snarled at the half giant.

Across the room, Minerva had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing at the situation. She caught Severus's piercing gaze and buried her face in her hands, snickering softly. Albus cleared his throat and dismissed the rest of the staff.

"It's not funny," Severus hissed in his colleague's ear.

"I'm…I'm sorry just…you….baking," she gasped as she finally let it out.

"Are you done?" he drawled, looking at his watch.

"Yes," she said as she took a deep breath.

"It will be fine Severus," Albus assured his surly employee.

With a huff Severus exited the office followed by Minerva. Once outside the stone gargoyle she caught him by the arm.

"Come with me," she instructed and began dragging him along.

"What is it," he snapped, trying to pull his arm from her grasp.

"I was going to give you the ingredients so you didn't have to spend money but it seems like you don't want my help," she snapped back.

"You could have just said that instead of dragging me along like a dog," he muttered apologetically.

"Well come on then," she said, letting go of his wrist.

He followed her to her private quarters where they began carting boxes of ingredients down to the dungeons. He took several from her arms as they began to descend the long staircase to his office.

"I'm capable of carrying them," she retorted.

"I don't need you falling," he muttered as he held open the door at the bottom of the stairs so she could pass through.

"Thank you," she replied as he allowed her to take a couple boxes off the pile he was carrying. The pair finished bringing the boxes in and then bid each other good afternoon.

The following day Ginny, Luna and the rest of their classmates found themselves sitting in Charms class looking around confusedly. Professor Flitwick was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly the diminutive wizard appeared and climbed atop his worn-out stack of pillows and cleared his throat with a squeak.

"Today in honor of the coming holidays we're going to be learning a new charm," Flitwick began.

He reached behind himself and produced a wooden xylophone, setting it on the desk before him.

"_Cantate espiritus sumo palpo_," he said with a downward flick of his wrist.

The instrument began to play "Silent Night". The students that filled the room gasped as it soared melodiously.

"Alright now everyone let's try," he instructed.

Ginny and Luna exchanged a glance before attempting to repeat the spell on their own xylophones. Luna was successful after her third try. She grinned dreamily at Ginny who was flipping through her Charms book.

"What are you looking for?" the blond questioned.

"I know in here somewhere there's a word you add on to make it play in harmony," the redhead answered with a smile as she found what she was looking for.

"_Cantate espiritus sumo palpo armonia_," she chanted.

Her xylophone began to play the same carol as Luna's, O Come All Ye Faithful, yet it sounded with a lovely counter melody. Ginny cheered happily as the two instruments continued to play a duet. Flitwick half fell half jumped from his perch to inspect the source of the giggling.

"And oh my how lovely!" he proclaimed.

"Thank you Professor," Ginny replied, beaming.

"Ginny charmed hers to play harmony," Luna informed the small wizard.

"Genius! Twenty points to both of you," he squeaked happily, moving on to observe the other students.

"I think they should play Carol of the Bells," Luna suggested dreamily.

Upon command, the wooden contraptions began to play the requested song. Everyone around them gave the pair sullen looks as they either failed to incant the charm correctly or just had the minimum required. Shortly after they changed the song for the third time, class ended. Flitwick stopped the two girls as they headed for the door.

"Would you girls mind if I kept these? They're absolutely wonderful," Professor Flitwick questioned.

"Sure thing," they answered and handed their still playing instruments to him before heading off to join their classmates in potions.

The fifth year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws sat patiently waiting for Professor Snape to make his presence known. Today was turning out to be a very strange day. They'd transfigured rubber ducks into glass baubles in Transfiguration and then the xylophones in Charms. What sort of holiday reflective activity could Snape in store for them all. Finally Severus appeared from his office.

"I am going to make this perfectly clear; this mockery of a lesson is the Headmaster's concoction. Do not ask for my assistance," Severus spat as he tapped his wand on the board and directions for baking ginger biscuits appeared.

The students all sat, mouths agape for a good five minutes simply staring at the writing to the Professor they all feared and back again. For Dumbledore to have convinced Snape to bake was surely a miracle, a very hilarious one.

"I hope he hasn't poisoned the ingredients," Ginny muttered to Luna as the got what they needed.

"Five points from Gryffindor Miss Weasley. This does not require talking," Severus drawled from his desk.

Ginny shook her head and returned to her seat. Throughout the first half of class, most of the students had to keep from laughing at the angry look on Snape's face. He was clearly not enjoying this task. Luna only made one mistake with hers, adding the flour before the butter.

"I don't think it really matters," Ginny murmured softly as they stirred their cauldrons.

Severus began pacing among their cauldrons, sneering contentedly at them all. Most had moved on to cutting out and decorating their biscuits.

'Albus is mad,' he thought to himself as he stopped to look at Ginny and Luna's table.

Ginny was decorating hers like the members of her family, currently working on Ron. Severus rolled his eyes until they fell upon Luna. She was decorating every one to look shockingly like himself.

"What do you think are doing Miss Lovegood?" he barked from over her shoulder.

"Decorating Sir," she answered airily as she continued to spread black frosting on her dessert.

"Do you find this funny?" he snapped, picking up an edible Snape.

"Well…" she began, looking down with her large eyes.

"I'm waiting," he hissed.

"She was just decorating them Sir," Ginny interjected, making eye contact with the sallow-skinned man.

"This does not concern you Miss Weasley," he seethed.

"I thought they were cute," Luna finally answered.

"Get out," he bellowed.

"But she—," Ginny tried to defend her friend.

"Both of you," he snarled and stalked back to the front of the room, glaring at the two girls.

Ginny and Luna gathered their books and biscuits and left the dungeons, no doubt having several more points deducted from both houses. Twenty minutes later classes let out of the day and Ginny and Luna sat in the room of Requirement eating their biscuits.

"These are pretty good for being brewed in a cauldron," Ginny remarked as she bit off Snape's head.

"And I think it was a brilliant idea to make them look like him. The lousy git deserved it," she continued as Luna burst into gales of laughter.

"He did seem sort of upset though," the blond remarked with a far-off gaze in her large blue eyes.

"Oh who cares," Ginny chuckled as they finished the rest of the ginger Snapes.


End file.
